Surah Al-Ahzab teaches us ways to bring obedience to Allah and Muhammad (SAW) into every aspect of our lives. This includes Jihad, how we as women conduct and present ourselves, as well as the rules of marriage.
يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوٓا۟ إِذَا نَكَحْتُمُ ٱلْمُؤْمِنَـٰتِ ثُمَّ طَلَّقْتُمُوهُنَّ مِن قَبْلِ أَن تَمَسُّوهُنَّ فَمَا لَكُمْ عَلَيْهِنَّ مِنْ عِدَّةٍۢ تَعْتَدُّونَهَا ۖ فَمَتِّعُوهُنَّ وَسَرِّحُوهُنَّ سَرَاحًۭا جَمِيلًۭا ٤٩
“O believers! If you marry believing women and then divorce them before you touch them, they will have no waiting period for you to count, so give them a suitable compensation, and let them go graciously.” (33:49)
Allah instructs the behaviour to be observed at the times of divorce. And here, when it concerns the termination of a marriage, the Akhlaaq is made clear.
A man is ordered to keep the woman in his home during the ‘Iddat period. Alongside having rights in a marriage, one should still act like a Muhsin, and treat everyone with gracefulness and courteousness, including their former spouses during divorce.
Divorce often comes from a place of hatred. Hate is a valid emotion, but must be governed under the laws of Allah. In a time of absolute animosity, Allah orders a man to “Release them gracefully”, which includes holding back from verbally taunting during this period.
يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّبِىُّ إِنَّآ أَحْلَلْنَا لَكَ أَزْوَٰجَكَ ٱلَّـٰتِىٓ ءَاتَيْتَ أُجُورَهُنَّ وَمَا مَلَكَتْ يَمِينُكَ مِمَّآ أَفَآءَ ٱللَّهُ عَلَيْكَ وَبَنَاتِ عَمِّكَ وَبَنَاتِ عَمَّـٰتِكَ وَبَنَاتِ خَالِكَ وَبَنَاتِ خَـٰلَـٰتِكَ ٱلَّـٰتِى هَاجَرْنَ مَعَكَ وَٱمْرَأَةًۭ مُّؤْمِنَةً إِن وَهَبَتْ نَفْسَهَا لِلنَّبِىِّ إِنْ أَرَادَ ٱلنَّبِىُّ أَن يَسْتَنكِحَهَا خَالِصَةًۭ لَّكَ مِن دُونِ ٱلْمُؤْمِنِينَ ۗ قَدْ عَلِمْنَا مَا فَرَضْنَا عَلَيْهِمْ فِىٓ أَزْوَٰجِهِمْ وَمَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَـٰنُهُمْ لِكَيْلَا يَكُونَ عَلَيْكَ حَرَجٌۭ ۗ وَكَانَ ٱللَّهُ غَفُورًۭا رَّحِيمًۭا ٥٠
“O Prophet! We have made lawful for you your wives to whom you have paid their full dowries as well as those bondwomen in your possession, whom Allah has granted you. And you are allowed to marry the daughters of your paternal uncles and aunts, and the daughters of your maternal uncles and aunts, who have emigrated like you. Also allowed for marriage is a believing woman who offers herself to the Prophet without dowry if he is interested in marrying her–this is exclusively for you, not for the rest of the believers. We know well what ruling We have ordained for the believers in relation to their wives and those bondwomen in their possession. As such, there will be no blame on you. And Allah is All-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (33:50)
In this Ayah are injunctions specific to Muhammad (SAW).
This included that he was allowed to have more than four wives at one time, the acceptance of bondswomen whom he owned as spoils of war; of which a notable example is Mariyah (RA) who was gifted to him by the Roman Emperor Muqauqis; ability to marry his paternal and maternal female cousins, and that it was necessary for the women he married to accept Islam before doing so.
۞ تُرْجِى مَن تَشَآءُ مِنْهُنَّ وَتُـْٔوِىٓ إِلَيْكَ مَن تَشَآءُ ۖ وَمَنِ ٱبْتَغَيْتَ مِمَّنْ عَزَلْتَ فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكَ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ أَدْنَىٰٓ أَن تَقَرَّ أَعْيُنُهُنَّ وَلَا يَحْزَنَّ وَيَرْضَيْنَ بِمَآ ءَاتَيْتَهُنَّ كُلُّهُنَّ ۚ وَٱللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ مَا فِى قُلُوبِكُمْ ۚ وَكَانَ ٱللَّهُ عَلِيمًا حَلِيمًۭا ٥١
“It is up to you O Prophet to delay or receive whoever you please of your wives. There is no blame on you if you call back any of those you have set aside. That is more likely that they will be content, not grieved, and satisfied with what you offer them all. Allah fully knows what is in your hearts. And Allah is All-Knowing, Most Forbearing.” (33:51)
Muhammad (SAW) did not marry all of his wives for desire; he was governed in each marriage by the laws of Allah.
In this Ayah is the sixth injunction applicable to Muhammad (SAW). Where men are now ordered to distribute their time and maintenance equally between wives if they have more than one, Muhammad (SAW) was not required to. Despite this, however, Muhammad (SAW) used to maintain equality between his many wives.
Aaishah (RA) reported that Muhammad (SAW) said:
“O Allah, I have maintained equality in whatever is within my power (meaning provision of means of sustenance and in spending of nights), so do not reprove me for that which is not within my power (meaning love and affection being more for someone and less for another that is not within one’s control).”
According to another narration, also from Aaishah (RA), if Muhammad (SAW) had to postpone his visit to any of the blessed wives at her turn, for some reason, he would seek permission even after the revelation of this verse wherein he was exempted from observing equality with his wives.
لَّا يَحِلُّ لَكَ ٱلنِّسَآءُ مِنۢ بَعْدُ وَلَآ أَن تَبَدَّلَ بِهِنَّ مِنْ أَزْوَٰجٍۢ وَلَوْ أَعْجَبَكَ حُسْنُهُنَّ إِلَّا مَا مَلَكَتْ يَمِينُكَ ۗ وَكَانَ ٱللَّهُ عَلَىٰ كُلِّ شَىْءٍۢ رَّقِيبًۭا ٥٢
“It is not lawful for you O Prophet to marry more women after this, nor can you replace any of your present wives with another, even if her beauty may attract you–except those bondwomen in your possession. And Allah is ever Watchful over all things.” (33:52)
There was a lot of wisdom in Muhammad (SAW) marrying again after prophethood. His life was meant to be one of purity.
At every injunction, and concerning every relationship in one’s life, the believer must do what Allah and Muhammad (SAW) commands, and stay away from what Allah has prohibited and Muhammad (SAW) advised against. For even if the believer may not understand it, there is wisdom in every rule and command.
